When Recruiting Goes Too Far

Note: Cross posted on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/when-recruiting-goes-too-far-lee-greffin

<You know who you are – don’t pretend you don’t.  You’ve stalked me for years.  I’ve asked, I’ve pleaded – no relief, no response, no cognizance that I am nothing but a potential payday from you. 

My patience has ended. 

I’ve tacked and my beam is abaft your stern… no mercy, no quarter…

Mr. Mowett, Mr. Pullings, starboard battery!> 

I don’t read your emails anymore.  They go into a file that I don’t look into.  I’ve told you I’m not interested – multiple times – politely – just get me off your list.  Unsubscribe me.  Remove me.  Delete my profile.  I don’t care what you need to do but just stop sending me emails.

No!  I do NOT want to relocate to <some urban hell hole that will eat up any salary I make in taxes and will end up costing me money>…

No!  I do NOT want to take a position with <fill in government agency> that will require me to have <fill in some obscure security review> for a three month position that is below what I was doing a decade ago…

I’ve explained to you, patiently, using monosyllabic language why.  What I am currently doing.  The reasons I don’t want the position.

Yes, I was stupid.  Naïve.  Trusting that a recruiter would realize an individual with decades of experience wouldn’t want to take an entry level help desk job – pre trepanning/major skull injury/stroke/long term Oxy deprivation.

One last email was sent.  No longer polite, stern.  Steely.  Telling rather than trying to ask, no longer attempting to bring a sense of bonhomie into the ‘experience’.

No more.  It’s time to raise the black flag – to fling open the locker containing the cutlasses.

I’m going to start writing about you, your company and my requests to be removed on every single site I can think of:

  • Glassdoor
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter

Hell – I’ll even open a Fakebook account to display my emails imploring you to remove me from your list…

For the love of God – stop sending me your emails.  I.  Am.  Not.  Interested.

That round that went ‘cross your bow matey?  Ranging shot.  Gun captains, on command – fire for effect lads…

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